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Taking Action & Getting Help | Hotlines, Shelters & Advocates | Planning Ahead & Keeping Safe | Find Out More About Domestic Violence

Planning Ahead & Keeping Safe

Be aware of the warning signs of domestic violence. It can be dangerous to assume that somehow things will get better. Often, things get worse.

You and your children can prepare for an emergency with a safety plan.

Domestic abuse is against the law in Washington State, and the courts will also help you to stay safe. For example, you may be able to get a Protection Order to keep the abuser away from you and your children.

There are also many hotlines, shelters and advocates who can help you.

You may be able to get help with your financial situation in order to become independent of the abuser.

Take control of your situation. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

What are the warning signs of Domestic Violence?

Does your spouse or partner:

• Insult you in public?
• Check up on where you've been and whom you've talked to?
• Put down your friends and family?
• Tell you jealousy is a sign of love?
• Blame you for the abuse?
• Limit where you go and what you do?
• Try to control your money?
• Destroy your things?
• Threaten to hurt you, your family, or pets?
• Make you have sex in ways or at times that are uncomfortable to you?
• Touch you in ways that hurt or scare you?
• Tell you your fears are not important?

If any of these things happen to you, you might be in danger.

Get some help from an advocate, and put in place a safety plan.

Safety plan checklist

• Plan how you can get out of the house during an incident of abuse.
• Plan how to call 911 if you can't get out of the house. Teach your children to call 911 if you can't.
• Tell trusted friends, family members and neighbors what is going on. Agree what they will do if they hear you calling for help.
• If your abuser has moved out of the home, change the door locks and your phone number. Have a plan in case you encounter your abuser outside the home, or if the abuser comes back and wants to come in.
• Arrange to have a safe place to go. A domestic violence shelter is an option. It is best if the abuser is not aware of the location.
• Make copies of your important papers. Keep several copies for yourself in different places. Give copies to your advocate and close family members.
• Keep a list of emergency phone numbers in your wallet and other places you can always get to. Memorize important phone numbers such as 911 for emergencies.
• Prepare a bag of clothing, medications, your papers and other essentials for yourself and your children to leave quickly. Hide the bag, but place it where you can get it in a hurry.
• Get help from an advocate, who can help you decide whether to get a Protection Order and figure out what to do about money.

Examples of important items to take with you are:

• Identification papers: driver's license, passports, green card, birth certificates, I-94, I-20, children's birth certificates, immigration papers, social security cards, work authorization cards
• Legal papers: Protection Order, divorce papers, marriage certificates, rental agreements, automobile registration
• Financial papers: bank statements, checkbooks, ATM cards, credit cards, tax returns
• Contacts: address books, important phone numbers
• Valuables: cash, jewelry, pictures, children's favorite toys
• Keys: house, car, office
• Health: medications, medical and vaccination records
• Information about the abuser: full legal name, birth date, social security number, legal status, income information, and current photograph.

Remember, the more precautions you take, the safer you will be.

Protection Orders

You have rights in the court system if you have been abused:

• A Protection Order is a court order that can help protect you from domestic abuse.
• You can get a Protection Order even if you are not a citizen or legal permanent resident of the US. In fact, a protection order can help document battering, which may be helpful to your immigration case.
• A Protection Order can order the abuser not to contact, threaten, attack, sexually assault or telephone you, your children and other family members. It may also order the abuser to leave your household.
• An abuser who does not abide by the court order may be arrested, sentenced to jail, or fined. If the abuser violates the Protection Order, you must call the police and/or go back to the court that issued it.
• You should keep a copy of the Protection Order with you at all times to show the police if the abuser violates it.
• Give a copy of the Protection Order to your children's day-care center or school, trusted friends and family members, and possibly your employer.
• A Protection Order is not permanent, and may expire if you don't take action to continue it.
• A Protection Order can help you keep temporary custody of your children.

Battered women's shelters and legal advocacy program can give you more information about obtaining and renewing a Protection Order.

You can request a temporary Protection Order at your nearest court (Superior Court, District Court or Municipal Court). The temporary Order lasts two weeks. After that, you will return to court and appear before a judge who decides whether to grant a full Protection Order that lasts for a year or longer.

If English is not your first language, or you are helping someone who doesn't speak English, you can still get help with filing for a Protection Order at http://protectionorder.org/translations.htm.

Your financial situation

Money problems may make it hard for you to get away from the abuser. You may be able to get cash, food stamps and medical care for you or your children. Contact the Department of Social and Health Services.

Your immigration or domestic violence advocate can help you find out what you are eligible for:

• Some legal permanent residents are eligible for welfare services and health services, depending on your income.
• Refugees are eligible for welfare and health services for the first eight months they are in the U.S. After that, immigrant and refugee families are eligible for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) for 60 months.
• If you have applied for legal permanent residency under the Violence Against Women Act, you are eligible for the same benefits as a legal permanent resident.
• If you are undocumented, your U.S. citizen children are eligible for public benefits just as other citizen children are.

For additional information or assistance with legal matters, contact Washington Law Help, which has information in multiple languages.